Sophie meets T.

Monday was our second visit with sweet T. She got meet to Sophie-dog. We met at the Mango Dog Park and clouds were lingering around the area. We were praying for rain to not spoil our special date. T. and the case worker were a little late getting there. As they pulled, we saw T. waving and smiling big in the window. About two seconds after the car was in park, T. had sprinted out of the car, was through the two gates, and in the dog park. This all occurred before the case worker could get out of the car. T. and Sophie were fast friends. They ran and played and played and ran. Sophie was tuckered out and T. continued throw the ball. It was everything Sophie could do to keep up with T. The rain came but only a few sprinkles for about 15 minutes. It was a perfect time for us to sit at a picnic table under the park shelter to eat our snacks, chat, and have Sophie share her tricks. T. was fascinated that Sophie would "pound it."

As Kevin and T. ran more in the park with Sophie, the case worker shared with Mallory that T. was already asking when she could move in. :) Makes our heart smile!! Mallory and the case worker were able to talk about future visit logistics and possible move in time lines. Yay! Things are progressing. At the end of the visit, T. asked for our journal. She had forgotten hers, but still wrote questions for us on a sheet of notebook paper. She had 5 questions for us. We gave her our journal that had three different entries from us from the past three days. When we were ready to part ways, we reached out for a hug and she willing embraced us with big hugs. With a promise of setting up a future visit through email with her case worker, we said good bye for another week. :(

Over the past few days, we've been approved for unsupervised visitation and have sent in a calendar of our availability for the next 2 1/2 months. We are trying to prepare for a Thanksgiving or Christmas move in date. We have a few things we need to consider since some schooling situations have come up. T. is also in a Thanksgiving play at her foster family's church which has practice dates we need to work around.

We're working on getting her room ready. Gigi is painting her bed- her favorite color, blue. The bedding is picked out. The room is already the perfect shade of yellow to coordinate with her blue bed and fun bedding! We're on the look out for a great dresser and funky, shabby chic decor to make the perfect "tween" girl room.

Ps. some have asked why we're calling her "T." Right now, she is not in our custody, and since she is a minor, it would not be proper to share her name publicly like on a blog. We'll wait until she is officially in our custody to share her name on a public forum such as this. 

First Visit

Most parents go to the hospital to meet their daughter. Not us, we went to the Pottery Patch and painted plates with her! October 4, 2012 is a day that will live in infamy for our family. It was the day we met our daughter. The days leading up to the visit were anxious for us, but the nerves weren't as intense as we thought. There was an interesting sense of peace that surrounded it all. But the butterflies grew more intense as the hours ticked closer to 4:30 pm on Thursday afternoon.

We decided to meet at 4:00 at the Pottery Patch in Valrico 30 minutes before the scheduled visit. We took a few minutes to pray together and ask God to bless this special meeting. Mallory had gone to Wal-Mart before to pick up two journals. The stationary aisle at Wal-Mart was filled with journals, and it was a bit overwhelming trying to pick something that she would like. A quick prayer went out, "Lord, help me to pick her favorite color. " Mallory grabbed two similar looking blue journals, a packets of brightly colored pens, and cute pencil bag.

Journaling was idea we thought would help us open up a dialogue with her if she didn't feel comfortable initially communicating her feelings verbally.  She would have a journal and we would have a journal. In between every visit, all three of us would write notes, thoughts, feelings, and questions in the journal for each other to read. At each visit, we will swap journals, read each other's notes, and write back.

The Pottery Patch was almost empty when we walked in. We picked out some small, square dessert places and stencils with our initials. We thought we could each decorate a plate with the first letter of our first name on the plate. We got a our table set up and began to wait. Thankfully, we didn't have to wait long. They came walking up T. and her case worker. We walked out the door to greet them. T. had a bright smile and was very friendly. "Nice to meet you" we all said to each other as we walked back into the store. Mallory explained that we had picked out some plates to decorate with our first initials. We quickly headed to the back to pick out our colors of paint. "What's your favorite color?" we asked. "Blue. My favorite color is blue," as she quickly pulled a bright blue off the shelf. Yes!!!! God answered Mallory's prayer. Blue journals were going to be perfect.

We spent the first 30 minutes of the visit painting and chatting. She was not shy as she started painting. T. just wanted to experiment and make her own plate. We talked about school, favorite foods, friends, and what we all like to do for fun. Her case worker had primed us that she may have questions for us during the visit. We graciously tried to open the door to her questions at least three different times. Each time, she said, "no, I don't have anything to ask." The overwhelming nature of the visit may have made her a little shy to ask what was floating around in her mind. We asked her what she thought about our family book, and her only comment was, "you have a big family!"

We told her that we had a gift for her. Her eyes lit up! "You do?" she asked. "Yes," Mallory said. "It's just something little." She seemed happy as she opened the blue journal and pens. We explained that we both have a journal that we can use to write back and forth to each other to ask questions and write notes. We had already wrote our firs note to T. in her journal to get it started. She started to open it up to read, but then, stopped and decided to wait until later.

As we finished up our painting session, we made a plan to ride down the road to Chick-Fil-A and have a pre-dinner milkshake! Big smile came over her face. She ordered a large cookies and cream milkshake and devoured every bit of it. We talked about what we'd like to do for our next visit. We settled on the park, so we could bring Sophie for her to meet. That seemed to make her day. She had questions about Sophie. Does she sleep with you? Do she shed? How big is she? She seemed pleased with all of our answers. Mallory had over pick out her favorite after school snack: blue gatorade and purple and green grapes. The date was set for Monday at 3:45 pm. Sophie is excited to meet her new sister.

As we walked out the door, it was pouring rain. As we walked to the door, you could see the wheels turning in her head as to how she will say good bye. She held the first door for us that led into the entry way and then she darted out the second door into the rain and began running to her case worker's car. She quickly turned around and waved, "bye, I'll see you later," with a big smile.

That was it. Our visit wasn't too long, but just long enough to fall in love with her. The next weeks and months we will begin the process of T. becoming used to us and feeling comfortable with who we are. Just imagine the thoughts going through her mind. As an 11 year old, you are meeting your forever family for the very first time. That's unreal to think.

We thank everyone for their prayers and continue to covet them as we continue down this road to family life.

It's a......

GIRL!!!!

It's been a process, but we've come to first of many steps in our new life as parents. On September 11th, we were matched with a beautiful 11 year old girl (soon to be 12). On September 20th, we attended the disclosure meeting, met with her case worker, and learned her full story. It's a JOURNEY (in miles and experiences) this young one has been on, and we are amazed at her resilence to make it through the struggles she faced. We stayed up late last night reviewing her paper work and getting to know her on paper.

Within the next few weeks, she will be introduced to us through our Family Book (scrap book of our family), and then, our first visit will be arranged. We're anxious to meet her and begin the process of becoming a family.

We've certainly seen God's hand in all of this. We now know the reason for our waiting for background checks. She was out of state and not ready for adoption until the beginning of August. God was slowing our process, so we would be ready for her just in time. We just stand in awe of how God has gone before us in the process and made His way perfect. We are honored that He chose us to be this girl's parents even before the world was ever made, He had her in mind for us. It brings tears to our eyes to even think of it.

We have a picture of her,but we'll wait to post pictures and more of her story until we've started visitation with her. We look forward to introducing her to our love and God's love for her.

"How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He’s the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son." Ephesians 1:3-6

Where we are Now!

It's been a challenging few weeks for us. After our last post, we received a call from Jacksonville. We had been selected for a 7 year old boy. It was out of the blue. We were shocked. Within a few days, we had various email exchanges and a large conference call with his caseworkers and therapists. We were hopeful this would be it! It was an emotional week for us. Through much prayer, tears, and wise counsel, God showed us that this boy was not meant for our family.
It was a difficult realization to come to because we so desire to be a family
for hurting children. We know God has special families for each special child.

In the meantime, a hurricane blew by us and we're still waiting....

We're now in the waiting process to see if we will be matched with an 11 year old child here in Hillsborough county. The waiting in between the phone calls and emails are the most difficult. It makes it hard to plan for things like holidays or vacations because we just don't know if we'll have 1, 2, 3, or no more to add to our plans. This whole process has sure took Mallory's planning gene for a ride! We're truly living the words of the sweet song, One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus! It is our hope and prayer that we'll have big news to share in our next update, but if not, we'll just keep living one day at a time.

Love and thanks to all of our prayer warriors out there. Thank you for the sweet notes of encouragement, chats, and hugs. Words can not express our gratefulness for your support. We love all of you!!!

Kevin & Mallory

From Focus on the Family
Not every family is called to adopt.  But helping support adoptive families is nearly as important as welcoming a child into your home.  Unfortunately, many families don't receive the support from friends and family they desperately need.  The good news is that help is as easy as cooking, cleaning, childcare and prayer.

At Focus on the Family, we recognize that adoptive families need the support of those around them.  That's why we created "Wrapping around Adoptive Families," a simple resource that provides practical tips for helping families.  It's built on the idea of W.R.A.P.:
                                        W - Wrestle in prayer
                                        R - Respite care
                                        A - Acts of service
                                        P - Promises of God

If you or your church is interested in supporting the adoptive families in your community, consider downloading or ordering copies of this resource.  We've also provided bulletin inserts and posters to promote within your community.  All it takes is connecting the gifts and talents around you with families in need.  So what are you waiting for?  Start Wrapping now!
  
Download the Wrap Booklet Here