Merry Christmas

Christmas was a big success for the Everitts. This was Tabitha's first experience with all of our Christmas traditions. We kicked off the weekend with Mammaw's Christmas party on Friday before Christmas. Then on Christmas Eve, our family spent the evening in Clearwater at the Christmas Eve church service at Skycrest with Kamden, Mitch, and Maddox and had dinner with them afterward. Tabitha's energy was through the roof. She could hardly contain the excitement in her. She was up, down, right, left, and every direction a 12 year old could possibly go.

She was able to open one present on Christmas Eve before Santa came. It was her Christmas pajamas. Before bed, the only request she had was to read the "Night Before Christmas." We told her that she could not come out of her room in the morning until we came to get her. We didn't want to miss out on her expression in the morning. We got up around 7 am and she was not awake. We waited until about 8:15 am and then woke her up. She had a hard time falling asleep the night before due to the anticipation, but when she did finally sleep, she slept hard.

Santa didn't disappoint. She got just about everything she asked for. It took her a while to recognize her "big" gift. But when she did see the iPod Touch, it was hugs all around to make sure everyone knew her joy. It has been her constant companion (within mom and dad's guidelines) for the past 24 hours.

The day continued on with presents a Gigi and Papouli's, Mammaw's, and then back at our house with presents from the PA Everitts. She was tuckered out by the end of the day and slept in this morning until almost 9 am. This a first for her... she is an early riser.

Today, we've spent the day opening and playing with presents. We've completed our post-Christmas purge. She was able to clean out her closet and drawers to make room for her new clothes, shoes, and toys. This was a first for her as she has never had so many things that she didn't have room to store it all. It was a great opportunity to teach her about giving to those who are less fortunate. Many of her clothes and toys are going back to help those who do not have the blessings that she now does. It was amazing to see her face, because she used to be the girl that got the hand-me downs from the abundantly blessed children. Now the roles are reversed in her favor.

As we put her to bed last night, we talked about the responsibility God has given us to raise her. It's awesome to realize that we only have 6 years to instill 18 years of life lessons. We only have a third of her childhood left. We talked about this with her and she said to us.... you can teach me three lessons each night before I go to bed and that way by the time I turn 18 I'll be all caught up. :) Oh, if it were only that simple, sweet girl.

As this update is being typed, we're in the process of filling in the missing gaps of her childhood. She is working with Gigi in her Easy Bake oven. While this is a gift that a 6 or 7 year old may request for Christmas, this is what Tabitha requested as a 12 year old girl. We happily fulfilled the request and are now making the memories that she missed out on. When she was 6 or 7, she was probably just trying to survive and make it to the next day. It's our prayer that she can have the next 6 years filled with little worry or care and be able to be the child she needs to be.

We still have lots of work as a family to do, but God is good. His blessings are new every morning.

Counting down the days until finalization! Hoping to get a court date after the new year to determine our finalization date.

Keep praying, Prayer Warriors!

3 weeks as a family!

Tomorrow will be our three week family anniversary! Needless to say, it's been the biggest three weeks of transition in our life. Tabitha is a champ. She has taken everything in stride. Her life has been full of transitions, so this is nothing new to her.

She started school at Ruskin Christian the Monday after Thanksgiving. She loves it there. She has made fast friends with everyone including her cousin, Micaiah. She is a bundle of energy and hops, skips, jumps, and runs everywhere she goes. She is also cheering on the JV Cher squad as well as practicing with the girls' basketball team. Her smile lights up when she gets to go to Wednesday night church with CORE (the middle school youth group). She is just a genuinely happy kid. After knowing what she has gone through, we are amazed at how happy and positive she is.

Of course, there are little things that we're working on, but little T is eager to please. We're sure it's just the honeymoon phase, and she'll jump into normal middle school mode soon enough. For now, we enjoy this sweet family time.

Every night, we read and pray together before bed. It's a great time for us to talk and bond. A part of our reading the other night was about how God uses hard times in our life for His glory. Tabitha said that she had hard times in her life, but she knew God had a purpose for it and now she has this wonderful family. (Insert melting heart). The best is hearing her in the shower besides it sounding like world war 3 just exploded in there... We get to hear endless singing and cheering in there. Some songs she evens make up like last week's was "daddy is awesome and mommy is pretty cool too!"

This past weekend we took her to Disney for her first trip. It was like she was five years old and full of excitement. As we went throughout the weekend, she kept saying "this is the best family experience ever!" Great memories were made, and it was super special for the entire family

We're very grateful for our friends and family who have stepped in and helped love on T in various ways from hanging out with her, doing homework, hugging, coaching, and caring. It means so much so her and she is overwhelmed with her new life. We don't know what the future holds for this special girl, but God has big plans.

Pray for us tomorrow. We have a court hearing to review her case and hopefully get some tentative plans set for adoption finalization in the spring.

Ps. Christmas cards are being sent out this week!

Move In Day!

We've got her! Picked her up from foster home. She darted out the door with big hugs for us. She had packed all of her stuff, and it was sitting at the door ready to be loaded. Only took 5 minutes to load. We then headed off to foster care headquarters to sign our custody papers. Lunch at Jimmy Johns and now home to unpack and make our Thanksgiving mashed potatoes.

Tabitha Rae Everitt is ours! Now, we have 90 days to wait until its all legal with court date for finalization and a new birth certificate exclaiming her new name and our names listed as mom and dad.

Today is the start of our new life as parents.

A Series of "Firsts"

The last 10 days have been filled with endless preparations for T's move in day. The official move in day is November 21st!  Last Thursday, Mal picked T up from school ( and headed down to Ruskin for her physical. Apparently, it is a requirement of Hillsborough county for her to have a physical before moving into our home. After a few medicaid bumps in the doctor's office, we are proud to report that T has a clean bill of health with perfect vision and hearing. We also updated her immunizations..... a big undertaking for a girl who has a fear of needles. She took them like a champ.

She also came out to the car when Mallory picked her with a glowing smile and a report card worthy of honor roll. She was proud of herself, and we were too. On the way to the doctor's office, she called her Gigi, Mammaw, and Auntie K to tell them her good news. Once the physical was complete, immunizations updated and report card in hand, Mal and T dropped off her completed enrollment application for Ruskin Christian School. T. was able to see the paper work get finalized and observe the school campus with after school activities. She watched Kevin's JV basketball practice and showed her Papouli her report card. I wish I could have recorded her as she ran up to him yelling, "Papouli, look at my report card!" What a blessing to have so many family members "ooooh" and "awwww" over her. She ran and gave her cousin, Micaiah, a hug and watched her practice basketball for a bit.

She's already planning to be on the 5th/6th grade cheerleading squad when she starts school the Monday following Thanksgiving. The athletic department gave her a Ruskin Christian Cheer hoodie. She proudly sported it around the campus and skipped happily along. Everyone, we introduced to her,  she would show the hoodie and say, "See! It's official! I'm a student." So many of our church and school friends from RCS were gracious and kind to her and told her how happy they were to meet her. She was truly encircled by love that day. So thankful for a church and school family that loves the kids as their own.

Some of you may wonder why she isn't attending school with Mallory at Seffner Christian. Well, there are a few reasons, and it all basically boils down to God's plan for T's life.

1. SCA's middle school program is completely full with no available spots. (Mal would love to have her at SCA, but God has her at RCS for a reason).

2. It's important for T to meet friends that live close by to her. Many of the SCA students live in Seffner, Plant City, Dover, Lakeland, and Brandon which make it difficult for play dates and sleep overs.

3. To have Mallory as a mom and principal during this transition may pose a little much for T. She wouldn't be able to get away with anything. LOL!

All in all, after last Thursday's visit to RCS, we know God meant for T. to be there. She is so excited to have Mrs. Montgomery and Mrs. Tuch as her teachers. She's ready to make honor roll next quarter at her new school!

Here's our timeline for the next step's in the process:

* Nov 16-18 (Fri-Sun): Another overnight visit with T
* Nov 17 (Sat): Church Welcoming Shower/ Daddy-Daughter Date Night.
- Mal will attend the shower while Kevin takes T on a date. Welcoming showers can be a little overwhelming for a child and can create some confusion.
* Nov 18 (Sun): T will attend Baby Maddox's dedication at Skycrest Baptist in Clearwater.
* Nov. 21 (Wed): Move in day! T is convinced we will need two cars to move her stuff. :)
* Nov. 22 (Thurs): First Thanksgiving with the family!
* Nov 23 (Fri): First family pictures
* Nov 24 (Sat): school supply shopping
* Nov 25 (Sun): T's first official Sunday at FBC of Ruskin
* Nov 26 (Mon): First day of school at RCS
* Late February: we're praying our court date for finalization!

Again, we are so thankful for the love and blessings that our friends an family shown us. We would like to say a special thank you to the friends and co-workers at SCA who showered us with many gift cards yesterday.

Yes, we will be posting a picture of T. and reveal her name (online) once she moves in. She is legally free for adoption and we will then have custody of her and can post for friends and family to see both near and far. :)
Psalm 68:4-6
Sing praises to God and to his name!
Sing loud praises to him who rides the clouds.
His name is the Lord—
rejoice in his presence!

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—
this is God, whose dwelling is holy.
God places the lonely in families;

Birthday and Slumber Parties

Since our last posts, we've enjoyed more visits with T. We celebrated her birthday last Saturday. She picked Genghis Mongolian Grill for her birthday lunch, and then, we met at Panera to see Mammaw, Gigi, Papouli, Kamden, Mitch, and Maddox for cake and presents. It was fun to see her open the gifts and talk with family. As we left and packed the car to head back to her foster home, I asked, "do you want to take some gifts back with you and send some to our home to put in your room?" She answered, "take them all back to my room, so they are waiting for me when I get there." Ultimately, everything went back to our house except the neon and zebra print nail kit that Mom- mom and Pop-pop sent from PA. :)

The following Monday we picked her up for a short visit after school. We went for pedicures. It was her first. She jumped for joy when she heard our plans. As we soaked in the pedicure tubs, her nail tech asked her if she was my sister. T. was confused on how to answer, so she look toward me (Mallory). I smiled and told the nail tech, "she's my daughter." A sense of relief seemed to flash across her face. Later that evening in car I asked if it was ok that I said she was my daughter. She said, "Yes!" That evening she wrote her in journal to us that we would later read. She signed her name "T. Everitt". She  needed the reassurance that we were owning her as "ours" and in return she owned the "Everitt" last name.

Friday night was her first overnight visit with us. We met the family for pizza, and T. was able to meet her cousins, Aunt Leah, and Uncle Mike for the first time. She became instant best friends with Micaiah. They love the same things and are so close in age. Micaiah has a huge fan in T. She is excited to start school at Ruskin Christian with her cousin and to have her Aunt Leah as one of her teachers. On Saturday, we took her to our church to walk around and see the building. Then, we walked her around the Christian school, so she could see the classrooms, gym, and cafeteria without the hustle bustle of people on a normal day. She's already talking about joining the cheerleading squad for basketball season, playing RAYS basketball, Karate classes, and flute lessons. I think we'll be one busy family in the new year.

During one of our car rides throughout our visits, T. was asking questions about her adoption and how that will happen. She brought up her biological family and what type of contact she would have with them in the future. We explained to her that when she would still keep contact her aunt by phone like she has had in her foster home and when her aunt was around town that she may be able to have a visit with her. She mentioned for the first time her biological dad and commented that she knew he was getting out of prison soon, and he was supposed to come back and find her. She didn't want him to take her because she didn't want "what happened last time to happen again." There was a sense of fear in her voice. Mallory turned around and looked at her in the back seat and said, "Your father can not come back and take you away. The judge has taken away any rights he has to you as a father. The judge did this because he was not taking care of you like a daddy should." T. answered, "Like, Mr. Kevin will take care of me." (Insert melting heart here).  She knows how loved and protected she is already. She then proceeded to share that she is not ready to see or talk to her biological mom or dad. We reminded her that she is always free to talk to us about her parents and that some day she may be ready to talk to them or write them a letter. We will always be there to protect and guide her. We would not put her in a position where she would be unsafe.

God is her loving Father that will never leave her or forsake her. What a perfect place to be....in her Father's loving arms.

November is national adoption awareness month, and Today is Orphan Sunday (http://orphansunday.org/about/). Churches all over America are creating awareness about the 150 million orphans world wide. Please consider how you can be a part of caring for God's children. God does not forsake the orphans. November 17th is National Adoption Day, and we will celebrating with picnic with other families who have or are in the process of adopting.  http://www.nationaladoptionday.org/

Heart to Hearts in the Car

Short visit with T today. We decided to do some "regular stuff" instead of a grand outing....normal family stuff. I (Mallory) picked up T from her foster home and we met Kevin in Brandon to run errands and make some returns. The rides in the car gave us wonderful opportunities to have "girl" talk.

I asked how her day was at school. She replied, "Awesome. Wanna know why?" "Sure," I quickly chimed. "It was an awesome day because I was counting down the hours until I got to see you guys!" Talk about your heart melting. After making returns and running through McDonald's for some sweet tea, we had to head back to her foster home for homework time.  Kevin and I had Christmas play practice at church. T asked, "what is your play about?" I told her it's a story that takes place the night Jesus was born. Do you know the story around the birth of Jesus?" She shook her head to reply no. "Would you like me to tell you?" She bounced back, "yes!"

I  proceeded to tell her in the simplest way possible about how Jesus was born. She was so quick to catch on to subtle details like how long it took the wise men to follow the star to meet Jesus. As I told the story, I slowly transitioned into Jesus' perfect life and how He was arrested and put to death for sharing God's love and how to have forgiveness of sins. I also shared the good news that Jesus was not hindered by death, but He rose from the dead and gave His followers hope for a future and a home in heaven.

T sweetly interjected, "I need to tell you something. " "What is that, dear." "I have not been baptized," she admitted. What an awesome question for me to share that baptism is not what gets us into heaven, but it was by Jesus' sacrifice that makes us worthy of heaven. It is nothing we could do on our own, but God did it for us. I explained that baptism was just an outward picture of what Jesus did on the inside of our heart when we enter into a personal relationship with Him as our Savior. T continued to ask questions of how and why Kevin and I live our lives to please and honor God. It was a great talk!

As we pulled into the neighborhood, I closed our conversation with "you can think and pray about all that we've talked about. God hears your prayers any time whether you talk out loud or speak within the quietness of your heart. " She said, "God knows everything and He knows everything I need. " Yes, He does. It's amazing that He brought us all together to be a family, and this was His plan even before we were even born!

It was a perfect car ride to share with her how much God loves her and that He cares about Sweet T. This is something we've prayed for. We wanted T to open the door to her religious questions. We don't want to push our beliefs on her but allow God to open her heart and draw her to Himself. These are decisions she should make for herself and not just to please us. We're just blessed to be able to have these discussions with her and be a testimony of God's love to her.

T will be one of the few  in the world to have a more clear understanding of what it means to be adopted into God's family, because she has been adopted into our family. Earthly adoption is a beautiful picture of God's adoption of us into His family.

Ephesians 1:5-6
God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. ⁶ So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.

It's the little things...

Friday was the first of many family fun Fridays. We had our first unsupervised visit with T. We spent the day at the movies (Hotel Transylvania), lunch, and pre-birthday shopping at the mall. We finished off the afternoon with milkshakes at Shake Out with Kamden, Mitch, and Maddox.

As we pulled in the drive way to pick her up,the front door flung open and out come smiling our little T. She was carrying her journal ready to exchange from our last meeting. Our day was filled with smiles, laughs, and many questions. Here's what we learned about our girl:

1. Dreams of going to France, traveling to the top of the Eiffel Tower, riding in a gondola, and eating real Italian food.

2. Wants to go to Universal Studios for her birthday. Has never been to Disney but dreams of going.

3. Loves Hello Kitty, Neon colors, Mustaches, and her her favorite Disney princess is Belle (because she has curly hair like her).

4. Wants to grow her hair long again so she can toss it around in the wind.

T had many questions for us and what is going to happen in the future. We answered her truthfully and honestly letting her know that there is a plan but plans can change. However, she is going to be a part of our family no matter what. She is excited to move in and get settled into the family. As we walked out of the mall, she stepped up to the back of Kevin's car and noticed the Phillies Fan family decals on the back of the car. She quickly said, "we're going to need to add a little girl to this family." It amazed us how observant she was, but it was a beautiful demonstration of how the little things matter. Thankfully, we had extra decals in Kevin's glove box. She picked out her little girl decal, and it is now gracing the back of Kev's Kia Soul.

We pick her up tonight for dinner with a few family members. What a beautiful journey we are on. Counting down the days to November 21!

Warp Speed to a Family!

Well, when things get moving....they really get moving! Last week we received a calendar of visitation days to be with T. It looks like move in day will be November 21st! Wow!!! We're super excited. We had prepared ourselves for things to take longer than what we hoped, but God is orchestrating things to play out exactly how He wants them.

We get to spend our first unsupervised visit with T. this Friday. We get her ALL DAY (10 am - 5 pm). We have no school that day, so it makes a perfect family day. We're going to the movies and then a little pre-birthday shopping. She turns 12 next Wednesday, so we've got to get an idea of what's on her birthday list. :) In the late afternoon, T. gets to meet the first round of family- Cousin Maddox. We're introducing her to a few family members at a time, so she does not feel overwhelmed with all the new faces and people.

We also get to spend Saturday evening with her and another afternoon visit on Monday. Three times in four days! First overnight is the first weekend in November. Then, the day before Thanksgiving she comes to us to stay FOREVER! It makes us think of a Hallmark movie, "All I want for Christmas is a Family." Except God is just showing up in bigger and better ways, and we get her on Thanksgiving!!

There are many things were have to get in order in the next few weeks:
1. Her Room!!
2. Schooling arrangements (unfortunately this will be her third school just this school year and sixth school in three years) But hopefully, this will be one of the last school transitions she will ever have to make!

3. Setting up visits to meet new family members.

4. Thanksgiving and Christmas Plans- Excited to introduce her to our family traditions and start new family traditions as well.
5. Finding some place in Ruskin/Apollo Beach for Karate and Flute lessons.

6. An awesome birthday party for a sweet 12 year old.

We're sure there are many other things to prepare, but God has worked it all out so far... no reason why it isn't going to work in the future.

Thanks for the prayers and support! Our family dreams are coming true.

Sophie meets T.

Monday was our second visit with sweet T. She got meet to Sophie-dog. We met at the Mango Dog Park and clouds were lingering around the area. We were praying for rain to not spoil our special date. T. and the case worker were a little late getting there. As they pulled, we saw T. waving and smiling big in the window. About two seconds after the car was in park, T. had sprinted out of the car, was through the two gates, and in the dog park. This all occurred before the case worker could get out of the car. T. and Sophie were fast friends. They ran and played and played and ran. Sophie was tuckered out and T. continued throw the ball. It was everything Sophie could do to keep up with T. The rain came but only a few sprinkles for about 15 minutes. It was a perfect time for us to sit at a picnic table under the park shelter to eat our snacks, chat, and have Sophie share her tricks. T. was fascinated that Sophie would "pound it."

As Kevin and T. ran more in the park with Sophie, the case worker shared with Mallory that T. was already asking when she could move in. :) Makes our heart smile!! Mallory and the case worker were able to talk about future visit logistics and possible move in time lines. Yay! Things are progressing. At the end of the visit, T. asked for our journal. She had forgotten hers, but still wrote questions for us on a sheet of notebook paper. She had 5 questions for us. We gave her our journal that had three different entries from us from the past three days. When we were ready to part ways, we reached out for a hug and she willing embraced us with big hugs. With a promise of setting up a future visit through email with her case worker, we said good bye for another week. :(

Over the past few days, we've been approved for unsupervised visitation and have sent in a calendar of our availability for the next 2 1/2 months. We are trying to prepare for a Thanksgiving or Christmas move in date. We have a few things we need to consider since some schooling situations have come up. T. is also in a Thanksgiving play at her foster family's church which has practice dates we need to work around.

We're working on getting her room ready. Gigi is painting her bed- her favorite color, blue. The bedding is picked out. The room is already the perfect shade of yellow to coordinate with her blue bed and fun bedding! We're on the look out for a great dresser and funky, shabby chic decor to make the perfect "tween" girl room.

Ps. some have asked why we're calling her "T." Right now, she is not in our custody, and since she is a minor, it would not be proper to share her name publicly like on a blog. We'll wait until she is officially in our custody to share her name on a public forum such as this. 

First Visit

Most parents go to the hospital to meet their daughter. Not us, we went to the Pottery Patch and painted plates with her! October 4, 2012 is a day that will live in infamy for our family. It was the day we met our daughter. The days leading up to the visit were anxious for us, but the nerves weren't as intense as we thought. There was an interesting sense of peace that surrounded it all. But the butterflies grew more intense as the hours ticked closer to 4:30 pm on Thursday afternoon.

We decided to meet at 4:00 at the Pottery Patch in Valrico 30 minutes before the scheduled visit. We took a few minutes to pray together and ask God to bless this special meeting. Mallory had gone to Wal-Mart before to pick up two journals. The stationary aisle at Wal-Mart was filled with journals, and it was a bit overwhelming trying to pick something that she would like. A quick prayer went out, "Lord, help me to pick her favorite color. " Mallory grabbed two similar looking blue journals, a packets of brightly colored pens, and cute pencil bag.

Journaling was idea we thought would help us open up a dialogue with her if she didn't feel comfortable initially communicating her feelings verbally.  She would have a journal and we would have a journal. In between every visit, all three of us would write notes, thoughts, feelings, and questions in the journal for each other to read. At each visit, we will swap journals, read each other's notes, and write back.

The Pottery Patch was almost empty when we walked in. We picked out some small, square dessert places and stencils with our initials. We thought we could each decorate a plate with the first letter of our first name on the plate. We got a our table set up and began to wait. Thankfully, we didn't have to wait long. They came walking up T. and her case worker. We walked out the door to greet them. T. had a bright smile and was very friendly. "Nice to meet you" we all said to each other as we walked back into the store. Mallory explained that we had picked out some plates to decorate with our first initials. We quickly headed to the back to pick out our colors of paint. "What's your favorite color?" we asked. "Blue. My favorite color is blue," as she quickly pulled a bright blue off the shelf. Yes!!!! God answered Mallory's prayer. Blue journals were going to be perfect.

We spent the first 30 minutes of the visit painting and chatting. She was not shy as she started painting. T. just wanted to experiment and make her own plate. We talked about school, favorite foods, friends, and what we all like to do for fun. Her case worker had primed us that she may have questions for us during the visit. We graciously tried to open the door to her questions at least three different times. Each time, she said, "no, I don't have anything to ask." The overwhelming nature of the visit may have made her a little shy to ask what was floating around in her mind. We asked her what she thought about our family book, and her only comment was, "you have a big family!"

We told her that we had a gift for her. Her eyes lit up! "You do?" she asked. "Yes," Mallory said. "It's just something little." She seemed happy as she opened the blue journal and pens. We explained that we both have a journal that we can use to write back and forth to each other to ask questions and write notes. We had already wrote our firs note to T. in her journal to get it started. She started to open it up to read, but then, stopped and decided to wait until later.

As we finished up our painting session, we made a plan to ride down the road to Chick-Fil-A and have a pre-dinner milkshake! Big smile came over her face. She ordered a large cookies and cream milkshake and devoured every bit of it. We talked about what we'd like to do for our next visit. We settled on the park, so we could bring Sophie for her to meet. That seemed to make her day. She had questions about Sophie. Does she sleep with you? Do she shed? How big is she? She seemed pleased with all of our answers. Mallory had over pick out her favorite after school snack: blue gatorade and purple and green grapes. The date was set for Monday at 3:45 pm. Sophie is excited to meet her new sister.

As we walked out the door, it was pouring rain. As we walked to the door, you could see the wheels turning in her head as to how she will say good bye. She held the first door for us that led into the entry way and then she darted out the second door into the rain and began running to her case worker's car. She quickly turned around and waved, "bye, I'll see you later," with a big smile.

That was it. Our visit wasn't too long, but just long enough to fall in love with her. The next weeks and months we will begin the process of T. becoming used to us and feeling comfortable with who we are. Just imagine the thoughts going through her mind. As an 11 year old, you are meeting your forever family for the very first time. That's unreal to think.

We thank everyone for their prayers and continue to covet them as we continue down this road to family life.

It's a......

GIRL!!!!

It's been a process, but we've come to first of many steps in our new life as parents. On September 11th, we were matched with a beautiful 11 year old girl (soon to be 12). On September 20th, we attended the disclosure meeting, met with her case worker, and learned her full story. It's a JOURNEY (in miles and experiences) this young one has been on, and we are amazed at her resilence to make it through the struggles she faced. We stayed up late last night reviewing her paper work and getting to know her on paper.

Within the next few weeks, she will be introduced to us through our Family Book (scrap book of our family), and then, our first visit will be arranged. We're anxious to meet her and begin the process of becoming a family.

We've certainly seen God's hand in all of this. We now know the reason for our waiting for background checks. She was out of state and not ready for adoption until the beginning of August. God was slowing our process, so we would be ready for her just in time. We just stand in awe of how God has gone before us in the process and made His way perfect. We are honored that He chose us to be this girl's parents even before the world was ever made, He had her in mind for us. It brings tears to our eyes to even think of it.

We have a picture of her,but we'll wait to post pictures and more of her story until we've started visitation with her. We look forward to introducing her to our love and God's love for her.

"How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He’s the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son." Ephesians 1:3-6

Where we are Now!

It's been a challenging few weeks for us. After our last post, we received a call from Jacksonville. We had been selected for a 7 year old boy. It was out of the blue. We were shocked. Within a few days, we had various email exchanges and a large conference call with his caseworkers and therapists. We were hopeful this would be it! It was an emotional week for us. Through much prayer, tears, and wise counsel, God showed us that this boy was not meant for our family.
It was a difficult realization to come to because we so desire to be a family
for hurting children. We know God has special families for each special child.

In the meantime, a hurricane blew by us and we're still waiting....

We're now in the waiting process to see if we will be matched with an 11 year old child here in Hillsborough county. The waiting in between the phone calls and emails are the most difficult. It makes it hard to plan for things like holidays or vacations because we just don't know if we'll have 1, 2, 3, or no more to add to our plans. This whole process has sure took Mallory's planning gene for a ride! We're truly living the words of the sweet song, One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus! It is our hope and prayer that we'll have big news to share in our next update, but if not, we'll just keep living one day at a time.

Love and thanks to all of our prayer warriors out there. Thank you for the sweet notes of encouragement, chats, and hugs. Words can not express our gratefulness for your support. We love all of you!!!

Kevin & Mallory

From Focus on the Family
Not every family is called to adopt.  But helping support adoptive families is nearly as important as welcoming a child into your home.  Unfortunately, many families don't receive the support from friends and family they desperately need.  The good news is that help is as easy as cooking, cleaning, childcare and prayer.

At Focus on the Family, we recognize that adoptive families need the support of those around them.  That's why we created "Wrapping around Adoptive Families," a simple resource that provides practical tips for helping families.  It's built on the idea of W.R.A.P.:
                                        W - Wrestle in prayer
                                        R - Respite care
                                        A - Acts of service
                                        P - Promises of God

If you or your church is interested in supporting the adoptive families in your community, consider downloading or ordering copies of this resource.  We've also provided bulletin inserts and posters to promote within your community.  All it takes is connecting the gifts and talents around you with families in need.  So what are you waiting for?  Start Wrapping now!
  
Download the Wrap Booklet Here

The Waiting Continues Again

I've been receiving many requests for a blog update. Unfortunately, there's not much to update. It's been a month of ups and downs. We've been presented with some child studies and all of them have not been the "match" we've been waiting for. I wish could go into all of the details, but it's not best that we share such details in a public forum like this. Hopefully, we'll be able to share all of the details some day with each of you.

Right now, all we can ask for is prayers. There are some far off potentials in the distance. We're not sure what will come of them. It's completely out of our hands and in God's hands. All that we can do is pray that the Lord will turn the hearts of the case works, supervisors, and judges that have "say-so" as to what families get what children.

We're learning how broken this system is, and our heart aches as we don't feel that there is a true advocate for us in this whole process. Ultimately, we have an almighty advocate who intercedes for us, and we know He is holding up this process for some reason.

We long for the day when we can look back at this time in our lives, smile, and say, "God meant it all for good."

Maybe and Maybe Not!

It's been a interesting 2 weeks for us. Kevin's brother and three boys came to visit in Florida (did all of the touristy things), and then, we hopped on a plane to visit family in PA for a week. In the midst of it all, we were attached to our iPhones taking calls and sending emails about potential matches.

One call came last Friday, it was our adoption specialist. She told there was a sibling group that was a potential match. She forwarded us their child studies and we fell in love with them. With a hope and prayer, we consented for our file to be presented the following Wednesday before the match committee for a match with this boy and girl. We knew we had a long shot because many other families were interested as well. The email came Wednesday afternoon that is was a "No." The little girl had requested that she be matched with a family that is the same skin color as her. Unfortunately, we didn't fit the bill. We really want to honor her request, so the match was made with another family. We happen to know this family and we are extrememly happy for them! It put our hearts at ease to know they got a wonderful family, but it was still a little sting to the soul.

In the meantime, we've still been in contact with other counties and case workers about potential matches. We've read many child studies and we cringe at the hurt the children have gone through. So many prayers have been sent up on these littles one's behalf. We're still waiting and praying for that perfect "match." God has them out somewhere waiting on us. It's a beautiful play that God is orchestrating and desigining. He sees both sides ours and our children, and He just smiles as He hears our prayers. He's has something special in store for us. The music to the soundtrack of our lives is playing in the background, and it's foreshadowing a big event in the future...a beautiful climax in our story.

While we wait, we're working on the house. We bought a new media unit for the living room to house all the additional storage that is coming out of the bedrooms to make room for the children. It needs paint! Next, is new flooring (hopefully) in the living areas to make the house a little more child-durable. :).

In preparation for meeting the child/ren, the Everitt side updated the family portraits to introduce themselves to the new family members. Next, we need to get the Alexander side updated with the addition of little Maddox.

Next Wednesday, our adoption specialist is presenting our file at the "Reverse Match" meeting where the case workers and adoption specialists all work together to match children with families. Hoping we'll get some news out of that meeting. Continued prayers are always requested.

Love to all!

Where to start?

Well, the home study is done, and we received a copy this past Tuesday. In the meantime, our FAS presented us with two different children. One boy, "D" had to have a decision made on him in less than hour because he was being presented to match committee for potential match with another family. Kevin and I only had about 50 minutes to digest his file. It was just too fast, so we believed it was God's way of telling us to let it go. So we passed on "D" and prayed that this other family would be the best match. The other child was a few years out of our 0-12 age range, and we are keeping him on the list, but exploring other potential matches. We inquired on some other children in Hillsborough county...2 of them were not a good fit for us and the other 2 were already matched and in the process of being finalized.

Shannon will present our family profile in the "Reverse Match" meeting later on in July. This is when the adoption specialists present potential adoptive families to the case workers of adopt-able children, and they try to match children with families. We may have other potential children come out of that meeting.

In the meantime, Kevin and I are browsing Heart Gallery websites and sending inquiries to case workers in other counties and even other states! We sent out an inquiries from Miami to Philadelphia! We've probably sent out 20 inquiries on different children and now we just sit back and WAIT AGAIN.

As we read child profiles, our hearts break to read the pain and suffering many of these children have had to endure in their short life. We just want to take them all in and love them. However, God has the perfect "match" out there, and we're trusting Him to use His divine providence to clearly open the doors to that child/ren.

Background Checks are BACK!

Hurray! We got the email this morning. Our background checks have come in!!! Shannon was on vacation this week, but she sent us the email to make sure we knew right away. She brought our file on vacation with her to work on it some, so we can have it early next week.

Keep praying. The light at the end is getting closer, but we still have many more hoops to jump through.

Home Study & Background Checks....Meanwhile Back at the Ranch

Home Study Visit #2- Home Study Done!

Happy 28th Birthday, to Kevin! Shannon came back this morning to complete the second portion of our home study. She asked us many questions individual questions about our background and life. We discussed our families and life growing up. It was a challenge and blessing to describe our life in just a few simple words. We also had to describe the personalities and relationships with our parents and siblings. We laughed and smiled at all of the fun stories. It reminds us of how immensely blessed we are to have the families that we do. As we talked about our families, we reflected on how much we are like our parents. We are proud to say that when you have 4 amazing, godly examples of love, grace, and mercy in our lives. We believe it is their testimony of Christ’s love that pointed us to the direction of adoption. We can’t fathom the life of a child without that testimony and love in their life. Our eyes fill with tears to think of those children without that hope of a future in Christ. When it was time to share about our siblings, we realized the uniqueness and “special-ness” of each relationship with our brothers (in-law) and sisters (in-law). Kevin so thoughtfully said afterward, “answering those questions just gave me a whole new appreciation and love for my family. They are just as much a part of this adoption process as we are.” Thank God for Family!!! This child/children has a family full of love to look forward to and not to mention 10 awesome cousins to play with.

Background Checks, Oh Background Checks!

Still no luck with the background checks! It’s going on 15 weeks now. Good news is that Shannon is getting daily progress updates on the status of the checks. We are still in the pending process. They are hopeful to have all pending background checks completed before July 1st. This is when Hillsborough Kids turns in Eckerd (agencies that manage foster care/adoptions in HIllsborough). Mallory keeps thinking they have been lost, but with daily tracking reports, Shannon is fairly certain that they have not been lost. We are going to check into getting the finger prints done again to see if that would help anything. So we are going to anxiously wait and pray for July 1st. 

Meanwhile back at the Ranch....

We’ve been trying our best to be prepared for the impending process. We’ve attended adoption support groups and more trainings. Last week, we attended a support group about sibling group adoption. Great information and things to pray and ponder. We also caught up with some of our friends from our MAPP class. Many have been matched with their child and are in visitation. It’s so wonderful to hear their heart-filled stories and to see them beam with pride and love as they talk about their sons and daughters. We long for the day when we can say MY “son” or “daughter.” 

We continue to cling to God’s perfect timing. He is holding up a our background checks for some reason, and may be because our chid/children is not ready for us.

Adoption... For me?

While this has been arduous process,we understand the benefit far exceeds the wait. We would encourage all of our friends and family to pray and consider adoption...especially foster care adoption. You may not get a baby, but a forever child who prays for you every day! As a child of God, you have been ADOPTED into the family of God. What a beautiful picture of God’s love for you if you were to adopt a child into your family. 

Heart Gallery

http://www.heartgalleryofamerica.org/ 

Adopt Us Kids

http://www.adoptuskids.org/

Wednesday’s Child- CBS Tampa

http://www.wtsp.com/life/community/adoption/default.aspx 

Home Study Visit #1

Our visit is done! We weren't sure what to expect, but we were pleasantly surprised at the ease of this  morning's visit. Shannon, our adoption specialist, spent the morning in our home. She met Sophie and loved how friendly she was. Sophie was a big show-off and kept wanting Shannon to play with her tennis ball. Shannon looked around the house and commented on the large dehumidifier in our bathroom. She seemed understanding of our predicament with the water damage, and was glad that our builder was taking care of fixing the damage.

We spent a little over an hour going through general questions about our family dynamics, support network, work schedules, perceived parenting style, motivation to adopt, and types of children we're willing to adopt. This visit seemed like an introductory visit and getting to know us better.

Next week (on Kevin's birthday-June 18), Shannon will come back to the house to do a second interview with us separately. She will talk with us each individually to talk about family history, experience in childhood, educational background, and more specific personal information.

Our background checks have still not come through. :( PLEASE keep praying. The home study can not be approved until the background check comes in. This is our biggest obstacle at this point.

The large dehumidifier in our bathroom after finding water damage under our bathroom cabinets on Friday morning. Not the perfect timing in our minds, but God's timing is perfect even when it appears chaotic to us.

Finally Progress!

Well, the background checks are still not back. Boooo! But we did get the approval to start the home study. Yay!!

Shannon, our family adoption specialist, was so wonderful to advocate for us to move along in the process. God answered our prayers. Her supervisor had an open mind for us to complete the home study without the background checks. As soon as we got approval to move along with the home study, Shannon emailed us, and we set the two dates for the home study.

June 11th and June 18th are the days to be praying. Shannon will come out to our house two different times to meet with us and interview us. In the first interview, we will be interviewed together to talk about our family and reasons for choosing to adopt along with the types of children we are interested in adopting. The second home study visit is when we will be interviewed separately.

We're not completely sure of everything that home study will entail, but we trust God prepared us for anything we face in the home study. The rest of the week will be filled with cleaning the house and making sure we're presentable for Shannon's visit.

Please keep praying that the background checks to come through. Our home study will not be approved and finalized until the background checks come in.

Pray! Pray! Pray!

Progress...We Think!

We know the blog has been silent for a long while. It's because things on the adoption front have been very quiet. It's been three months today that we submitted our finger prints for national background checks. What was a 8 week wait turned into a 10 week wait and now 12 weeks. Needless to say, we're going crazy with the waiting. We guess the Lord figured that we need to learned some patience because our faith has certainly been worked and tried. James 1:3, For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow (NLT). So we'll just consider these 3 long months a growing time. We can not proceed any further in the home study and adoption process until our backgrounds come back clear. 


Mallory has been doing much of the email correspondence with our adoption specialist, Shannon. She received some "good news"...we think. Shannon will be approaching her boss on Monday to get permission to continue in the home study process without the background checks. She hopes to start the home study and while we are going through that the backgrounds will FINALLY come in. The home study will be pending approval until the background checks come in. 


Please be in prayer. Pray for three things: 1). Shannon's supervisor would be open and willing to let us start the home study without the background checks. 2.) The back ground checks would come in quickly! 3.) That the process would proceed without any more hold ups throughout the summer. Mallory will be off of school for 8 weeks during the summer, and we will be able to prepare more fully with a lighter summer schedule. 


Our hearts are ready for our child/children, and the hard part is waiting. The Lord's timeline is best. We're trusting in His perfect plan. Thank you to all of our prayer warriors out there!

Still Waiting...

Just updating the blog to let all know that we are still waiting....

We are being held up by the federal background checks. We had the fingerprints completed on March 1, and they are still not back yet. :( Shannon says that background checks have been taking 6-8 weeks lately. So we have our minds set that we probably won't hear anything until around May 1st. We are hopeful that we will complete our home study in the month of May.

We are patiently waiting. The Lord is teaching us a great deal about His perfect timing. He knows best, and we place our lives in His hands.

Thank you for all of the kind words of encouragement sent to us and the prayers brought before the Lord on our behalf. All we can say is thank you and keep praying.

And Now We Wait...Until the Next Step!

TaDa! We've finished our MAPP classes. Woohoo! Last week was our last class. It was a sad and happy event wrapped into one. We have bonded with many of the people in the class, and we will miss being with them every Monday. However, we are happy to move onto the step in our process.

All paper work has been turned in. Shannon has received all of our references, and we are just waiting on our background screening to come back (maybe about another month). Once our backgrounds are cleared and all paperwork is successfully processed, we can set up our home study visits.

There are two visits in the home study. One visit is more intense than the other, but we're excited to get that scheduled. Hopefully by the end of April,  that will be set. We are praying to have the home study visits scheduled for the month of May. Once the home study is approved, we will begin the matching process (which can be a many month process).

The reality of meeting our child/children is growing closer and closer. As the days tick by, our prayers become more intense and fervent. As we think we could not pray any harder for our children, the next day, we find a new sense of longing and urgency to pray for these children.

Some of our specific prayers for our child/children:
- For their salvation (if they have not met the Lord yet).
- For healing emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
- Bonding within our family unit and also our extended family.
- Their current foster family that the family would be nurturing and caring. Helping them prepare for a transition into our family.
- Their case worker. For wisdom, guidance, and understanding as they make decisions in the best interest of the child/children.
- Our Adoption Specialist. For wisdom and knowledge on how to best handle our case.
- Education. For their current and future teachers so they have the patience and wisdom to teach and guide their minds and hearts.
- For us as parents. That we would have the understanding to parent the child/children to recognize their unique needs and wisely nurture them in God's love.

This weekend Mallory took some girls from the youth group to see the movie October Baby. This movie was wonderful but heavy. While it deals with abortion it also address the adoption story and all the emotions wrapped up in it. We recommend this movie, but you need to prepare yourself for it. Bring your tissues! We boycotted the Hunger Games opening weekend and purposefully chose to patronize a Christian movie. While we're not opposed to the Hunger Games, we wanted to show our support for movies that seek to edify the body of Christ and help the hurting. There was a line at the end of the movie that was especially moving. This line almost made me (Mallory) lose all control. As tears were rolling down many cheeks, the main character, Hannah, turns around to her adoptive father and runs to his arms and says, "Thank you for WANTING me!" Wow! How powerful. Children want to be wanted, and there are many out there that feel unwanted.

Now, we Wait, Pray, and Want.

October Baby Movie Trailer

Disruptions, Dissolutions, and Adoption Panel

We're coming to the end of our 10 weeks of MAPP class! 2 more classes left! We've successfully turned in ALL of our paper work, printed our adoption scrapbook, and passed our physicals! Last week in class, we worked through the dark side of adoptions....disruptions and dissolutions. It is a reality that there are people who go through all the work, paper work, and red tape to get a child, and then GIVE THEM BACK! While it's sounds so unthinkable, there are MANY potential adoptive parents that give up when the going gets tough. Disruptions occur when potential adoptive parents decide to have the child move out before the adoption is finalized. We can't help but put ourselves in the shoes of that child...the rejection, hurt, unworthiness, and anger they must feel. Our heart can't help but to break. Dissolutions occur when a child is returned to foster care after the adoption has been finalized. WOW! Imagine taking someone's name and being officially a part of their family, and then, they reject you. Children from the foster care system are looking for the same unconditional love, support, and acceptance that any child desires. However, they experienced more hurt, rejection, and loss than the average child.

In tonight's panel class, we heard from post-adoptive families and children along with other workers within the foster care system. There were two special children that spoke and shared their experiences. Lilly and Jalen were both teenagers that have lived basically their entire life in care. They've experienced many foster families and unfortunately a disruption or two. Their main plea to us was, "PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP ON US." We will test you. We will try you. We will drive you to the brink. But it's only to know if you truly love us. The adults in our life have not proven faithful, and we need to know if you are different than "the rest of them." So please love us.

We gained a wealth of information from tonight's panel. We're feeling like we're forming a better understanding of what we're getting ourselves into. We'll never be fully prepared for this adventure, but that's why its an adventure. Something new is always around the corner.

Another step was achieved in tonight's class. We were assigned to our Family Adoption Specialist, Shannon. She will be guiding us through this process and our primary liaison in the match process. We would appreciate your prayers for her specifically as she handles our case and considers potential matches for our little family.

Lastly, we'd like to share with you one video from our class. It's a "Story of Aging Out." This is a man who grew up in foster care and NEVER was adopted. He aged out of the system. Praise the Lord...he became successful. However, he still cares the scares of his childhood. His statement at the end pulls at our heart strings. "Who wouldn't be proud now to call me their son."

Our heart is already given to these future children who we haven't even met yet. We've given our hear to adoption. It's our prayer that more christian families will answer the call and make room in their heart for a child.

Thank you for all of your continued support, love, prayers, and encouragement. We still covet your prayers.

Oh the Paper Work!

Just chugging away through this paper work! Tomorrow, we go for background screening. Next week, we have doctor physicals to assure we are physically fit to care for children. Then, we continue completing these forms.

Parenting Styles

We've hit the half way in our MAPP class!!! It's an exciting point. This past week we received a LARGE stack of paper work, and we were assured that this is the first of MANY stacks of forms. These papers were a part of the matching process. We answer deep and personal questions about ourselves to assure a child is a good match for us and we are a good match for the child. In the past week, we've combed our past and dreamed about our future. We've answered questions from our potential parenting style to what side of the bed we sleep on. (just kidding on the last one...but it feels like we went that in depth). 

We've also started our family scrapbook. This is the book that will be shown to the child when we are first introduced to them. They won't meet us in person first but will learn about us through this scrapbook that we put together. We feel like this is the most important scrapbook we will ever make. Neither one of us is that crafty, so we are incredibly thankful for the internet and websites such as shutter fly, snap fish, and mix book. 

In our last class, we learned about the "faulty/coercive" parenting styles, the things that don't work when raising kids. Our homework assignment was to go out and practice those styles and see how they turn out. It was the funniest homework assignment we've ever done. In essence, we were to go out and do it all wrong! We "practiced" on youth group kids, co-workers, and friends. So we apologize if we seemed a little "off" this past week, just chalk it up to "practice." Ha Ha! Hopefully, next week, we'll be learning about the proactive and proper parenting styles....maybe we'll get to practice those as well. 

Praying for that child or children who will soon enter our home. They may not have grown inside of us physically, but they are growing in our heart. We love them more and more each day. We love taking this unconventional path to parenthood. 

Below is a CBS news story about children waiting to be adopted. The children in this story are just like the children we will be adopting (foster care children). Not babies...but real-life, hurting children. 

James 1:27- Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

Loss, Grief, and Love

The first third of the MAPP classes have been completed. It is becoming more and more apparent to us that these children that we will welcome in our home will have not had the "normal" childhood. These children have been robbed of some many simple pleasures and rights of childhood. They have dealt with more than their fair share of grief and loss in their life. Our hearts break as we continue to hear the stories of loss...loss of family, home, siblings, innocence, childhood, and...Love. 

We will be more than parents to this childhood, but grief experts...helping them through this great sadness. Grief is not always a natural process, and little ones do not know how to grieve. We may have to teach them how to express their sadness. Many children in the foster care system feel that they have lost everything because of something they have done. They think they are somehow undesirable or defective. They act out behaviorally to test to see if you really love them or care for them like you "say." They just yearn to be loved as themselves. The children have lost all basic necessities of life (love, comfort, and security). However, they may be lost, but they have not been forsaken. They have a heavenly Father who loves than more than any earthly human. God understands their loss. He lost his own family as well. Jesus was separated from His Father, and God the Father was separated from His son, Jesus while on earth. God understands the feeling of loss.  

Adoption is so close to heart of God. He does not forsake the children. He has adopted us spiritually into the family of God, and it only makes sense that we would bring the fatherless into our earthly families. What a beautiful picture of God's extravagant love that he lavished on us lowly sinners. 

It is a huge privilege and responsibility to love these children for being themselves and nothing else. That's how God loves us....He takes us as we are....a beautiful disaster. Isn't that what Love really is? Accepting the person with all fault, flaws, and baggage. With all of the loss and grief in their life, I look forward to loving the children God is preparing for us. It may not be the normal family, but it's the family God intended for us. 

This song has been very special to us as we've began this adoption process. We will love this child/children for being them just as God loves us as us! 

Love Me for Me by JJ Heller

Ephesians 1:3-6

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.

Class #2 and Book Reading

We completed class #2 this past Monday night. We met some new people and got to know the hearts of some of those pursuing the same journey as us. It's amazing how many christians are in our class! God is truly calling His people to care for the fatherless... So cool, to be following on same path together.

As a way to prepare for the coming months, we've read a highly recommended book from some of our friends.

Orphanology, Author: Tony Merida and Rick Morton
A practical response to God’s command to care for the fatherless told through the stories of families and ministries who are responding. Basically, Orphanology helps explain how God cares for orphans and why God’s people should put emphasis on caring for orphans. This book is great because it uses the adoption stories of the authors to give insight into how to respond to God’s call and what the adoption process is like physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The end of the book also addresses how the church and its members (who may not be in the position to adopt) on they can still minister and care for the fatherless. Great ideas!



Looking forward to sharing more in the future.