Heart to Hearts in the Car

Short visit with T today. We decided to do some "regular stuff" instead of a grand outing....normal family stuff. I (Mallory) picked up T from her foster home and we met Kevin in Brandon to run errands and make some returns. The rides in the car gave us wonderful opportunities to have "girl" talk.

I asked how her day was at school. She replied, "Awesome. Wanna know why?" "Sure," I quickly chimed. "It was an awesome day because I was counting down the hours until I got to see you guys!" Talk about your heart melting. After making returns and running through McDonald's for some sweet tea, we had to head back to her foster home for homework time.  Kevin and I had Christmas play practice at church. T asked, "what is your play about?" I told her it's a story that takes place the night Jesus was born. Do you know the story around the birth of Jesus?" She shook her head to reply no. "Would you like me to tell you?" She bounced back, "yes!"

I  proceeded to tell her in the simplest way possible about how Jesus was born. She was so quick to catch on to subtle details like how long it took the wise men to follow the star to meet Jesus. As I told the story, I slowly transitioned into Jesus' perfect life and how He was arrested and put to death for sharing God's love and how to have forgiveness of sins. I also shared the good news that Jesus was not hindered by death, but He rose from the dead and gave His followers hope for a future and a home in heaven.

T sweetly interjected, "I need to tell you something. " "What is that, dear." "I have not been baptized," she admitted. What an awesome question for me to share that baptism is not what gets us into heaven, but it was by Jesus' sacrifice that makes us worthy of heaven. It is nothing we could do on our own, but God did it for us. I explained that baptism was just an outward picture of what Jesus did on the inside of our heart when we enter into a personal relationship with Him as our Savior. T continued to ask questions of how and why Kevin and I live our lives to please and honor God. It was a great talk!

As we pulled into the neighborhood, I closed our conversation with "you can think and pray about all that we've talked about. God hears your prayers any time whether you talk out loud or speak within the quietness of your heart. " She said, "God knows everything and He knows everything I need. " Yes, He does. It's amazing that He brought us all together to be a family, and this was His plan even before we were even born!

It was a perfect car ride to share with her how much God loves her and that He cares about Sweet T. This is something we've prayed for. We wanted T to open the door to her religious questions. We don't want to push our beliefs on her but allow God to open her heart and draw her to Himself. These are decisions she should make for herself and not just to please us. We're just blessed to be able to have these discussions with her and be a testimony of God's love to her.

T will be one of the few  in the world to have a more clear understanding of what it means to be adopted into God's family, because she has been adopted into our family. Earthly adoption is a beautiful picture of God's adoption of us into His family.

Ephesians 1:5-6
God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. ⁶ So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.

It's the little things...

Friday was the first of many family fun Fridays. We had our first unsupervised visit with T. We spent the day at the movies (Hotel Transylvania), lunch, and pre-birthday shopping at the mall. We finished off the afternoon with milkshakes at Shake Out with Kamden, Mitch, and Maddox.

As we pulled in the drive way to pick her up,the front door flung open and out come smiling our little T. She was carrying her journal ready to exchange from our last meeting. Our day was filled with smiles, laughs, and many questions. Here's what we learned about our girl:

1. Dreams of going to France, traveling to the top of the Eiffel Tower, riding in a gondola, and eating real Italian food.

2. Wants to go to Universal Studios for her birthday. Has never been to Disney but dreams of going.

3. Loves Hello Kitty, Neon colors, Mustaches, and her her favorite Disney princess is Belle (because she has curly hair like her).

4. Wants to grow her hair long again so she can toss it around in the wind.

T had many questions for us and what is going to happen in the future. We answered her truthfully and honestly letting her know that there is a plan but plans can change. However, she is going to be a part of our family no matter what. She is excited to move in and get settled into the family. As we walked out of the mall, she stepped up to the back of Kevin's car and noticed the Phillies Fan family decals on the back of the car. She quickly said, "we're going to need to add a little girl to this family." It amazed us how observant she was, but it was a beautiful demonstration of how the little things matter. Thankfully, we had extra decals in Kevin's glove box. She picked out her little girl decal, and it is now gracing the back of Kev's Kia Soul.

We pick her up tonight for dinner with a few family members. What a beautiful journey we are on. Counting down the days to November 21!

Warp Speed to a Family!

Well, when things get moving....they really get moving! Last week we received a calendar of visitation days to be with T. It looks like move in day will be November 21st! Wow!!! We're super excited. We had prepared ourselves for things to take longer than what we hoped, but God is orchestrating things to play out exactly how He wants them.

We get to spend our first unsupervised visit with T. this Friday. We get her ALL DAY (10 am - 5 pm). We have no school that day, so it makes a perfect family day. We're going to the movies and then a little pre-birthday shopping. She turns 12 next Wednesday, so we've got to get an idea of what's on her birthday list. :) In the late afternoon, T. gets to meet the first round of family- Cousin Maddox. We're introducing her to a few family members at a time, so she does not feel overwhelmed with all the new faces and people.

We also get to spend Saturday evening with her and another afternoon visit on Monday. Three times in four days! First overnight is the first weekend in November. Then, the day before Thanksgiving she comes to us to stay FOREVER! It makes us think of a Hallmark movie, "All I want for Christmas is a Family." Except God is just showing up in bigger and better ways, and we get her on Thanksgiving!!

There are many things were have to get in order in the next few weeks:
1. Her Room!!
2. Schooling arrangements (unfortunately this will be her third school just this school year and sixth school in three years) But hopefully, this will be one of the last school transitions she will ever have to make!

3. Setting up visits to meet new family members.

4. Thanksgiving and Christmas Plans- Excited to introduce her to our family traditions and start new family traditions as well.
5. Finding some place in Ruskin/Apollo Beach for Karate and Flute lessons.

6. An awesome birthday party for a sweet 12 year old.

We're sure there are many other things to prepare, but God has worked it all out so far... no reason why it isn't going to work in the future.

Thanks for the prayers and support! Our family dreams are coming true.

Sophie meets T.

Monday was our second visit with sweet T. She got meet to Sophie-dog. We met at the Mango Dog Park and clouds were lingering around the area. We were praying for rain to not spoil our special date. T. and the case worker were a little late getting there. As they pulled, we saw T. waving and smiling big in the window. About two seconds after the car was in park, T. had sprinted out of the car, was through the two gates, and in the dog park. This all occurred before the case worker could get out of the car. T. and Sophie were fast friends. They ran and played and played and ran. Sophie was tuckered out and T. continued throw the ball. It was everything Sophie could do to keep up with T. The rain came but only a few sprinkles for about 15 minutes. It was a perfect time for us to sit at a picnic table under the park shelter to eat our snacks, chat, and have Sophie share her tricks. T. was fascinated that Sophie would "pound it."

As Kevin and T. ran more in the park with Sophie, the case worker shared with Mallory that T. was already asking when she could move in. :) Makes our heart smile!! Mallory and the case worker were able to talk about future visit logistics and possible move in time lines. Yay! Things are progressing. At the end of the visit, T. asked for our journal. She had forgotten hers, but still wrote questions for us on a sheet of notebook paper. She had 5 questions for us. We gave her our journal that had three different entries from us from the past three days. When we were ready to part ways, we reached out for a hug and she willing embraced us with big hugs. With a promise of setting up a future visit through email with her case worker, we said good bye for another week. :(

Over the past few days, we've been approved for unsupervised visitation and have sent in a calendar of our availability for the next 2 1/2 months. We are trying to prepare for a Thanksgiving or Christmas move in date. We have a few things we need to consider since some schooling situations have come up. T. is also in a Thanksgiving play at her foster family's church which has practice dates we need to work around.

We're working on getting her room ready. Gigi is painting her bed- her favorite color, blue. The bedding is picked out. The room is already the perfect shade of yellow to coordinate with her blue bed and fun bedding! We're on the look out for a great dresser and funky, shabby chic decor to make the perfect "tween" girl room.

Ps. some have asked why we're calling her "T." Right now, she is not in our custody, and since she is a minor, it would not be proper to share her name publicly like on a blog. We'll wait until she is officially in our custody to share her name on a public forum such as this. 

First Visit

Most parents go to the hospital to meet their daughter. Not us, we went to the Pottery Patch and painted plates with her! October 4, 2012 is a day that will live in infamy for our family. It was the day we met our daughter. The days leading up to the visit were anxious for us, but the nerves weren't as intense as we thought. There was an interesting sense of peace that surrounded it all. But the butterflies grew more intense as the hours ticked closer to 4:30 pm on Thursday afternoon.

We decided to meet at 4:00 at the Pottery Patch in Valrico 30 minutes before the scheduled visit. We took a few minutes to pray together and ask God to bless this special meeting. Mallory had gone to Wal-Mart before to pick up two journals. The stationary aisle at Wal-Mart was filled with journals, and it was a bit overwhelming trying to pick something that she would like. A quick prayer went out, "Lord, help me to pick her favorite color. " Mallory grabbed two similar looking blue journals, a packets of brightly colored pens, and cute pencil bag.

Journaling was idea we thought would help us open up a dialogue with her if she didn't feel comfortable initially communicating her feelings verbally.  She would have a journal and we would have a journal. In between every visit, all three of us would write notes, thoughts, feelings, and questions in the journal for each other to read. At each visit, we will swap journals, read each other's notes, and write back.

The Pottery Patch was almost empty when we walked in. We picked out some small, square dessert places and stencils with our initials. We thought we could each decorate a plate with the first letter of our first name on the plate. We got a our table set up and began to wait. Thankfully, we didn't have to wait long. They came walking up T. and her case worker. We walked out the door to greet them. T. had a bright smile and was very friendly. "Nice to meet you" we all said to each other as we walked back into the store. Mallory explained that we had picked out some plates to decorate with our first initials. We quickly headed to the back to pick out our colors of paint. "What's your favorite color?" we asked. "Blue. My favorite color is blue," as she quickly pulled a bright blue off the shelf. Yes!!!! God answered Mallory's prayer. Blue journals were going to be perfect.

We spent the first 30 minutes of the visit painting and chatting. She was not shy as she started painting. T. just wanted to experiment and make her own plate. We talked about school, favorite foods, friends, and what we all like to do for fun. Her case worker had primed us that she may have questions for us during the visit. We graciously tried to open the door to her questions at least three different times. Each time, she said, "no, I don't have anything to ask." The overwhelming nature of the visit may have made her a little shy to ask what was floating around in her mind. We asked her what she thought about our family book, and her only comment was, "you have a big family!"

We told her that we had a gift for her. Her eyes lit up! "You do?" she asked. "Yes," Mallory said. "It's just something little." She seemed happy as she opened the blue journal and pens. We explained that we both have a journal that we can use to write back and forth to each other to ask questions and write notes. We had already wrote our firs note to T. in her journal to get it started. She started to open it up to read, but then, stopped and decided to wait until later.

As we finished up our painting session, we made a plan to ride down the road to Chick-Fil-A and have a pre-dinner milkshake! Big smile came over her face. She ordered a large cookies and cream milkshake and devoured every bit of it. We talked about what we'd like to do for our next visit. We settled on the park, so we could bring Sophie for her to meet. That seemed to make her day. She had questions about Sophie. Does she sleep with you? Do she shed? How big is she? She seemed pleased with all of our answers. Mallory had over pick out her favorite after school snack: blue gatorade and purple and green grapes. The date was set for Monday at 3:45 pm. Sophie is excited to meet her new sister.

As we walked out the door, it was pouring rain. As we walked to the door, you could see the wheels turning in her head as to how she will say good bye. She held the first door for us that led into the entry way and then she darted out the second door into the rain and began running to her case worker's car. She quickly turned around and waved, "bye, I'll see you later," with a big smile.

That was it. Our visit wasn't too long, but just long enough to fall in love with her. The next weeks and months we will begin the process of T. becoming used to us and feeling comfortable with who we are. Just imagine the thoughts going through her mind. As an 11 year old, you are meeting your forever family for the very first time. That's unreal to think.

We thank everyone for their prayers and continue to covet them as we continue down this road to family life.