The Life Book

This summer we've taken on the project of chronicling T's life story in a life book. Most children have the blessing of a baby book that their parents take the time and effort to journal their major mile stones. In the life of a foster care child, they may not have this special blessing. A life book is a way to preserve what memories the child has.

We've been working diligently on each page. We were lucky to find a pdf document on an adoption forum that has pre-done life book pages. It makes it easy for us, so we're not starting from scratch. T can fill in the pages with her memories. We're thankful for the road map others have left for us who have traveled down similar paths.

We try to complete a page or two each time we sit down. We've learned more about our girl each time we do this. Some times, it's painful. There are tears, and other times it's joyful looking back at her memories. My heart breaks at many of the memories she has lost (in trauma and age). We had to leave a whole page blank because we have no information on early years mile stones (first steps, first words, first hair cut, etc.). No baby pictures or even elementary pictures. The earliest picture we have is from when she was 10 years old (leaving 5th grade). It just reminds us how important it is to preserve the memories of now.

There are some days that she just doesn't want to do work on it or wants to give up. It's a delicate balancing act that we're playing in encouraging her to preserve the memories and not push her too far into past. At this point, it has been successful, and today she was able to write two letters (one to Bio Mom and one to Bio Dad). She expressed her feelings, hurt, and disappoint (as much as a 12 year old can). She ended each letter with her prayer for them. It amazes me how forgiveness has such a healing effect on the soul. A beautiful picture of Christ's sacrifice for the forgiveness of our sins.

I recommend the life book process for adopting families. It's so important to have a story for each child to tell. It provides a little glimpse of their past (even if it's painful). It tells them who they are what they've made it through. A story of strength, resilience, and triumph. Even in those painful parts, God was there loving, guiding, and protecting. 

More updates on life:
1. School is out. T is diligently reading (with much prompting from mom) her summer reading books (school and mom assigned :)). I believe T's words were, "I wish my mom wasn't a principal." HaHa! Sorry, girl!

2. She leaves for Word of Life Camp on Sunday to spend a week learning from God's Word and having a blast.

3. We leave for a long family vacation with both sides of the family the day after she returns from camp.

4. T earned 6 academic achievement certificates at her end of the year awards ceremony.

5. T was released from adoption transition counseling! She loved her counselor, and she was a great support to our family. Thankful for the mental health professionals that invest in adoption and foster care (not an easy field but thankful for them).  

6. T's hair is final long enough to straighten. She has been begging for months. We absolutely love the curly hair God gave her, but we indulged the teenage whom. It turned out very cute!

7. T went to her first Rays game on Monday night with her dad, Gigi, and Papouli. 14 innings and didn't fall asleep. Developing a love of the game like her dad! 

April!

We totally feel like the parents of a preteen. The eye rolls, drama, deep conversations, and energy fills our house. It's totally fun! No complaints from us!

The month of April brought about a busy schedule for the family. Tabitha starred in the school play with a lead role! It was a play centered around the life of Daniel. Practicing lines gave us a great opportunity to teach more scripture and life lessons. It's amazing to watch her absorb the Truth and make it her own. 

She also attended her first athletic banquet and was honored for her participation in cheerleading and basketball this past spring season. Doing her hair, make up, and dressing up was a blast! She loved the pampering. 

Most parents always have a tinge of sadness to watch their little girl grow up. However, coming into her life at 12 years old, we only find joy, excitement, and relief as we watch her blossom and grow. She is a typical preteen that loves life, and her past is only a small portion of who she will become. Every new step of growth brings a little sign of relief to know she has moved past the hurt. It is evident as conversations about her first 12 years flow freely without the awkwardness and pain that used to be associated with those memories. Don't get us wrong.... those ugly memories and hurt still rear it's  head from time to time. However, as we write this, T is in the back seat of car singing Matthew West's song, Forgiveness. It's amazing the healing power that forgiveness brings. God has given her a hope and a future and is not a slave to hurt! 

Updates:

1. She earned an "excellent" rating on her  photography entry in the fine arts competition.

2. After two failed attempts by the state of Florida to work with New York, we still have not received a birth certificate with her new name. We're on attempt number three. Hopefully, this is the charm.

3. T is signed up for three different summer camps am excited for our 3 week family vacation. This is her first experience on a real family vacation.

4. T was able to meet more of her PA family: Aunt Sue, Uncle Walt, Kristen, Bryan, and Walter while they were down on vacation in Clearwater. 

Our Life in Bullet Points

Our Life in Bullet Points for the Last Month

* T dives into school: 2 science projects, country project, state project, book report and photography project consume our time. She is now in the midst of standardized testing this week.

* Discover that T has a little knack for photography

* Disney trip with Uncle Rob, the boys, and Mom-Mom & Pop-Pop

* Mal's school wins FOX 13's COOL SCHOOL of the week!

* T's Spring Break: Phillies game with Gigi, Papouli, Mammaw, and Maddox, Mosi with Papouli, Universal trip with Mom and Cayla, and Batting cages with Uncle Rob & Dad

* T has her first experience at a youth discipleship retreat!

* 5 trips to the doctor for T's allergies and chest colds

* Dentist trip and came home with two cavities and a good lesson on flossing. :)

*  Easter festivities with the family including T's first trip to Kobe Japanese steakhouse

* T gets pedicures with Auntie K, Auntie Steph, and Mom.

* She started earning allowance for house chores. Rolling in the dough!

* Reading and Full House becomes a new love for T.

* Kev and Mal hit the road with the teens of the EDGE with many adventurous activities.

* Kevin gets his braces off in a few weeks!!! Hurray! Big accomplishment for a 29 year old! :)

* Looking forward to our amazing summer of traveling and family time!

* FINALLY got all of that crazy adoption paperwork filed in some organized manner! It's amazing how so much paper work can be accumulated in just 12 years of a child's life, but it never scratched the surface of who her soul and who she really is!!!

Tabitha's entry in photography contest

PROJECTS GALORE

Disney with the Everitt Boys

Universal Islands of Adventure Trip!

On the way to "Rooted"

Girls Night Out with EDGE Girls

Hanging with the EDGE

T is reading like a Pro!

Loving Full House

Helping Maddox dye eggs

Easter Basket

Easter Dress

Annual Family Easter Pic

 

Organization!!!

Twice Adopted

The Week of February 20, 2013 will forever live in our memories. On Wednesday, February 20, 2013, Tabitha's adoption was finalized. It was a great day to make legal the bonds that had already been made. After shopping for the perfect outfit along with pedicures and manicures, our crew made it the George Edgecomb Courthouse in Tampa at 11:00 am on Wednesday morning. Mom, Dad, Gigi, Papouli, Mammaw, Auntie K, Maddox, and Jojo joined T in Judge Essrig's court room. The finalization was quick but so sweet. As the lawyer asked us the questions of why we wanted to adopt T, Mal choked up with tears and could only shake her head in affirmation. T eagerly affirmed that she wanted to be adopted. Once the judge declared us legally her parents and our child. T jumped from the chair to cheer in joy. It was so simple, but forever changing our lives. The bailiff and judge were even in tears. It was so evident that Tabitha was eager to be a part of our forever family.

We had lunch at the Red Elephant Cafe with the family and headed back to our normal life as it had been for the past three months. On Thursday evening, Mallory was studying with Tabitha her weekly Bible lesson with her for Friday's Bible test. T looks right at Mal and says "I've decided something... I'm ready ask Jesus into my heart. When can I take care of that?" Kev and Mal sat at the table with T and talked about the decision to trust Christ. She knew it all. She basically told us how to be saved. :) She bowed her head at the kitchen table and asked Jesus to be her Lord and Savior. She immediately called almost every family member along with her Jojo and youth leader to tell them about her decision. When one of the many people on the phone asked if she felt any different, she replied " I just feel happier." :)

What a wonderful, blessed picture of God's love for us. He rescued, redeemed, and restored Tabitha physically, emotionally, and spiritually. She was twice adopted this week. The safety of her physical new family gave her the strength to take the step of faith to join her TRULY FOREVER FAMILY of eternity.

It's amazing to us how God perfectly ordered the steps of our lives. We had just studied the story of Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch in church. She knew exactly that after she got saved that she wanted to tell others and get baptized. She wanted to do it immediately, so this Sunday evening, Kevin was able to baptize her to show the world a picture of God's cleansing of her heart. With the wonders of modern technology, her Auntie K and Uncle Mitch were able to watch in real time through Face Time. The entire Facebook world saw through video just a few minutes later.

She's come home this week with stories of how she has shared with her friends about salvation and God's love. Our little soul winner already! Rescued, Redeemed, Restored....

God's love is so miraculous. Only God could have planned such a perfect family and events.

Saturday night, we had a "Gotcha" Party at Buca di Beppo's with 25 friends and family. Her Grammie painted a portrait of her that she was able to open at the party along with a ring from her family with her new name. A perfect night to celebrate her two times adopted. :)

Ephesians 1:4-7
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.  In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.